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Tag 10 people to do this.
Answer the questions that follow and fill them into the blanks of the template:Dear (the last person who texted you),I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it (2) (3) and I saw you (4) (5).I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory.You should also know that I (10) (11).(12), Your name.


1. What's the colour of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over.
Red - Our affair is over.
White - I'll join the monastery.
Black - I dislike you.
Brown - The mafia wants you.
Green - Our horoscopes don't match.
Grey - You're a pervert.
Yellow - I'm selling myself.
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting.
No shirt - You're a loser.
Other - I'm in love with your sister.

2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife

4. What's the colour of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Barefoot - Sit on
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Other - Drive out

5. What's the colour of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Iraq
Purple - My mustard souffle
Orange - My Kid Rock collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy statue
Other - The crazy monk

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
House - Scarred
Lost - High
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle class

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Sad - How boring you are
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this
Nervous - The middle east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks
None of the above - Ashamed

8. What's the colour of your bedroom walls?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Green - The pictures from LA
Grey - Our matching Snoopy bibs
Purple - You
Pink - The cut toenails
Others - The memories in the military service

9. What is the first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - Results of your blood sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college

10. What is the last letter of your last name?
A/B - Always will remember
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water - Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation of an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for micer old lottery coupons
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second World War
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics

12. To which country would you want to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Fuck off
France - In pain

Dear Vicky,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but i dislike you. I think I realized it when your dwarf bit me with George Bush and his wife and I saw you hit on my father.I'm sure you're senile enough to understand that Santa doesn exist.I'm returning your love letters to you, but I'll keep oil stocks as a memory.You should also know that I never openly mocked your eggplant fetishism.

Go and drown yourself,
Clara:D

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